In Monday’s Existential Espresso, I shared my latest read, Constructive Living by David K. Reynolds. This short but impactful book explores the main ideas of an approach to mental health of the same name.
Reynolds, who created Constructive Living, even though he is a psychiatrist by training, says that Constructive Living is not psychotherapy. It is sound, practical advice for daily living. It is based on two Japanese psychotherapies, Morita therapy and Naikan therapy. However, Morita therapy, which is also known as "the psychology of action," is its main basis. And that also perfectly describes what Constructive Living is all about: action and behavior.
Reynolds suggests that we should stop living emotion-focused lives because we cannot control our emotions. This doesn’t mean that emotions don’t matter, but simply that we shouldn’t think that every negative emotion needs to (or can) be "fixed" or thoroughly investigated. Instead, we should focus on our actions. Unlike how we feel, what we do is in our control. The goal of Constructive Living is to teach us that we can get done what we need to do in life even when anxious, nervous, scared, or angry.
In this essay, we will delve into what I consider four of the most valuable ideas from Constructive Living. These concepts challenge conventional wisdom, inviting us to reassess our understanding of emotions and our responses to them. They encourage us to shift our focus from the futile attempt to control our feelings to the more productive and sensible task of managing our actions.
I hope they will resonate with you as they have with me, offering practical strategies and thought-provoking insights for a more fulfilling, meaningful, and constructive life.
1.Behaviour Change Doesn't Come From Understanding
The book challenges the widely accepted idea that understanding the root cause of our behavior leads to change. It argues that behavior change comes from action, not insight. This idea is a departure from traditional psychoanalytic approaches that emphasize understanding our past and unconscious motivations. Reynolds suggests that it is debatable if we can ever really get to the bottom of why we are doing something. But even if we could fully understand our motivations, it wouldn't necessarily lead to behavior change. Behavior doesn’t change through endless introspection. Behavior changes by changing your behavior.
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