How To Make It Impossible To Not Show Up For Yourself

I followed my daily routine on the day the police told me someone was planning to kill me.

I still did my daily workout and went to work. On the bus to work, I did my daily reading. On the first break, I did my daily writing. I even followed through on a new challenge I had set for myself the day prior. During the second break, I recorded my first-ever video of talking to the camera.

I did my daily writing, reading, and workout on the day I was leaving my home country for good and saying goodbye to my loved ones, without knowing if and when I’d see them again.

A couple of years later, when I visited my home, I did my client calls, daily writing, reading, and workout on the day I was told not to leave the house because the people who wanted to hurt me found out I had come back.

But this isn’t a story about how tough I am or how hard I’ve had it.

I’m not trying to position myself as the new David Goggins. I’m not another clone of Andrew Tate either. On the contrary, I’m what you would consider a sensitive person.

And it’s a mistake to think about who’s had it harder.

Stress is stress. Hardship is hardship. We are all humans, and we can all learn from each other. You don’t need to be a prisoner of a concentration camp to get value from Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning.” Likewise, you don’t need to be at risk of being killed to get the value from what I’m saying.

This is a story of the capacity present in every human being: the capacity to influence the momentum of one’s life.

I’ve already written about my unusual background story a couple of times, and sharing any more details wouldn’t be smart or appropriate for my family’s privacy.

For context: How I Avoided Getting Killed and Killing Myself

But you don’t need more details, at least not now. This time, I want to focus on how I managed to show up for myself in such stressful situations because you can do the same.

Whether we’re going through a heartbreak, having a rough time at work, dealing with anxiety, or struggling with self-loathing, our external and internal challenges can feel so overwhelming and exhausting that we shrink away from our projects, goals, and responsibilities.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Last note before I get to the point: Some of you might argue that you should give yourself a break on those stressful days. Sometimes, yes.. You only know in that moment through proper self-reflection. But if your first instinct is to talk about the need for rest, you can recognize it as the human tendency to follow the path of least resistance.

Now, how did I show up for myself in moments when most people (think they) would crumble?

Because not showing up for myself was more (psychologically) difficult than showing up.

And why is that?

(I’ll use the conversation I had in the police station as the reference point for the following statements, so there’s consistency in the timeline.)

I did my daily workout because I had been training every day for almost 4 years at that point.

I did my daily reading because I had been reading every day for more than 3 years at that point.

I did my daily writing because I had been writing and sharing it online every day for almost 2 years at that point.

But this isn’t just consistency. We have to ask what consistency results in?

Momentum. Psychological momentum, to be more precise. Because the momentum wasn’t always visible in external results and progress, but it was continuously being built inside me.

Momentum is King

The more psychological momentum you build, the more difficult it is to stop.

But how do you build momentum?

First of all, by prioritizing it. And even though this might seem like an obvious or maybe stupid answer, most people don’t know what it means to prioritize momentum.

To prioritize momentum means to value what today’s actions are doing for your inner narrative more than you value what they are doing for external results.

Here is another catch: At the beginning of a new project or while trying to establish a new habit, momentum and external result are most usually in conflict with each other.

Momentum is about movement that doesn’t give immediate results but creates an internal sense of finding it progressively more difficult to stop.

With enough momentum, you arrive at the point where the psychological cost of abandoning your habits and projects is far greater than the effort and discomfort needed to engage in them, even when your routine is disrupted.

Think of those days or weeks where your routine is genuinely disrupted by a significant external or internal challenge. Let’s say you make an objective assessment that you can’t make any progress during this period.

Prioritizing momentum is about realizing it’s not only worth it but necessary to show up for yourself. Why? Because the psychological momentum you continue building in those challenging times ensures that, once you get out of that tough spot, you are not restarting your journey from scratch but continuing it with increased intensity.

A personal example

I had a period when I read one paragraph a day. One paragraph, not even one page. This was while I was already 2.5 years into my writing journey. I was already a guy with a decent online following, recognized as someone who studies philosophy and psychology daily and shares his insights online. However, I was faced with both internal and external challenges that left me feeling depleted, exhausted, lethargic, and discouraged. I was struggling to get out of bed and on the verge of surrendering to a sense of utter helplessness.

At that time in my life, I couldn’t achieve any significant results with my studying. At least it seemed like that. So I made an agreement with myself to prioritize momentum at any cost.

I had to accept that, on my worst days, one paragraph per day counts as reading. If I were genuinely overwhelmed and felt like shit, but managed to read one paragraph, I would count it as a day when I read. It would mean that my studying streak had continued and I had shown up for myself.

In the following 4 months, around 70-80% of my days were one-paragraph days. I respected my agreement with myself and went to bed on those days acknowledging my effort and consistency.

But guess what happened once I slowly climbed my way out of that dark period of my life? My reading skyrocketed, and I was once again the guy who could read 3 or 4 hours a day while taking notes and turning that into impactful writing.

But that didn’t happen just because I suddenly had more energy. It didn’t happen just because I took the necessary internal and external steps to reignite my passion for life.

It happened because I had momentum built and maintained even during those dark days, so once I had more energy, I wasn’t starting from scratch.

I knew I was the guy who kept his daily practice when most people would’ve abandoned it. The drive and encouragement you receive from that realization cannot be compared to any amount of external validation. I’m saying this as someone who’s experienced both.

Nurture the Flame

Momentum is like a small but stable flame. Then, having more energy, time, or motivation is like pouring gasoline on that flame, turning it into a raging fire.

But if you prioritize external results, there is no stable flame. When faced with challenges that significantly disrupt one’s routine, people who focus on results take a step back and wait for “better times.” And once those better times come, they’ll be starting from scratch —if they even start again.

I am writing this because my life is a testament to the power of momentum. And I know that so many of you would be much more satisfied with your lives if you started focusing on momentum rather than the visible, quantifiable external results. You would finally be doing justice to your potential.

The question is, how can you change your current approach to your project(s)?

Take it on as a creative challenge. What would your day and week look like if they became more momentum-focused?

Thank you for reading.

P.S. If you want to build an undeniable and unbreakable sense of momentum despite internal or external challenges, click here for a free consultation.