I remember vividly the moment of sitting on the toilet a couple of days before my high school graduation and thinking, "My life is empty, and I cannot imagine a future where it's not empty." (Sorry for being too specific about my location at that moment.)
A lot of hard work, discipline, and consistency later, but not enough self-reflection later, at 21, I was working my shift in one of the highest-paying jobs in my country, thinking,
"Is this it? Is this life? I won't even have to worry about paying bills, and I'll be able to buy some nice things. But I still feel empty."
I have been fascinated with stories ever since I can remember. I wanted my life to be a great story. Not for the world. I didn't need my life made into an Oscar-winning movie. But I wanted my life to be a great story in my eyes.
Then, last winter, I was sitting in my room, halfway across the world from everyone I knew, in a city I thought I would only be able to see in movies.
I was closing in on reaching 100K followers on Instagram. It feels cringe to talk about the number of followers as something important, but I cannot lie and pretend it wasn't at that moment in my life. Having so many people willing to read what I write, when writing is what made get out of bed, meant the world to me.
I sat in my room and thought, probably for the first time ever, "My life is a great story. I love my life."
I looked back on the years that made my life a great story in my eyes.
-In 2019, I have managed to (partially) break free from my imposter syndrome and finally start sharing my thoughts and ideas with the world, something I always wanted to do.
-In early 2020, in a turn of events that only life can write, I had to start living with a bulletproof vest because of the mistakes my brother made.
Not going out unless absolutely necessary was way safer than being outside even with a bulletproof vest, so I spent the vast majority of the next 2 years in my room.
Besides my job, almost every single minute of my waking hours was spent either reading or writing. The only exception was the 30–40 minutes that were dedicated to pushing my body as close to the point of collapsing as possible.
Besides a handful of people in my life, those 3 activities—reading, writing, and training—saved my sanity in those 2 years.
-In late 2021, the situation got considerably worse, and I was met with a choice:
Live the foreseeable future, and maybe the rest of my life, in constant fear and anxiety and try to cure myself with material possessions.
Or leave everything behind me and try to rebuild my life somewhere else. Due to the nature of my situation, "somewhere else" had to be as far away as possible.
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-In January 2022, I left my home country, my loved ones, my job, and pretty much my whole life behind.
Details of that first year of my adventure will be discussed on another occasion to avoid making this essay a memoir.
-But after a lot of failure, feeling lost and confused, and experiencing by far the darkest period of my life mentally and spiritually, as well as a lot of adventure and surreal memories, at the end of 2022, I was sitting in my room, finally thinking that my life was a great story.
I should note that I'm not trying to sell myself as if I were some success story; at that moment in my life, I was barely managing to pay my rent. Maybe that's an interesting fact to know for those who think that the number of followers on social media reflects how much money you make.
But I digress.
Everything good in my life came from realizing that it's not about me. So, that night, after reflecting on how my life became a great story in my eyes, I quickly asked myself what I could share from my journey that would be useful to others.
What insights have I gained that could help others make their lives great stories?
What do all great life stories have in common?
They cannot be replicated.
There is no template for you to follow. And, ironically, that’s the thing we want to get the most out of those stories.
But, whether it’s a fictional or a real-life story, there is always a point where a decision has to be made.
And a decision that is made is one that seems, and almost always is, risky, dangerous, impractical, and irrational.
Just listen to the interviews or read the biographies of highly successful people from all different walks of life and different forms of success. People with great life stories.
Almost exclusively, they reflect on such a pivotal moment in their story and say something along the lines of “Yes, I did this; I made this risky move, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.”
They talk about going all in on their dream without having a plan B.
They talk about leaving the security and comfort of their old life when that seemed like a terrible decision.
They talk about taking a path that everyone advised them against.
They talk about making a sacrifice that seemed crazy to make.
And all of them say, “Looking back on it, I wouldn’t change a thing, but I wouldn’t recommend anyone do the same. I would advise you to be more careful and play it a bit more safe.”
You don't have to consider me a successful person by your criteria, but I would probably say the same thing.
It took me some time to realize how insane it was to leave everything behind and move to a continent where I had zero friends and connections, no job or a real business, with just my savings and a conviction that I would "figure it out."
I wouldn't change a thing. But I don't know if I would dare to recommend the same to anyone I wish well for.
So, should you follow the example of people with great stories or listen to their advice?
I think you should do neither.
You can neither replicate the decisions that someone else made on their own unique journey nor blindly follow their advice to play it more safe than they did.
There is no clear path for you to follow. If it’s clear, it’s not your path. You have to recognize the pivotal moments of your own life and make your own decisions. And then take passionate action on those decisions.
There is no template; there are only some patterns to recognize and keep in mind on your own journey.
Here are some of the patterns I've noticed:
-There is no set of rules and steps to follow.
-People with great life stories have a strong sense of purpose.
-Those people hear and, most importantly, answer the call to adventure they receive from life.
-Those people put their meaning and purpose above material success, social status, safety, and comfort.
-Those people find their meaning and purpose outside of themselves; they give themselves in service to others and to some greater cause.
At the end of the day, you can neglect almost everything I've said. You can completely disregard even these patterns I've offered. But you can't escape the fact that there is no 10-step plan for you to follow to make your life truly yours. Sooner or later, there will come a time for you to make a decision that is truly your own. If you don't make it, you will be living someone else's life.
If you want to make your life a great story, you cannot wait it out or copy it from someone else. You have to live it out. By engaging in life, you will create those situations that ask you to make a decision that is led by either courage and purpose or fear and comfort.
I wonder what your decision is going to be.
Thank you for reading.
P.S. As I said, there is no template for you to follow, and I cannot offer you one. But I can guarantee that participating in The Journey Beyond workshops will help you better understand your journey up to this point, as well as how to create your journey moving forward.
The Journey Beyond is free for all members of Sisyphus Society.