One Question that Will Fix Your Self-Sabotage and Perfectionism

What is my current priority? Results or Momentum?

That’s it. That’s the most important question you can ask yourself if you’ve been self-sabotaging with perfectionism and procrastination.

Someone else would write 1000 words before getting to the point. I get to the point and then ask you to continue reading if you want.

So, for those interested in what this question means and why it matters, let's continue.

I recently had a talk with someone who has the potential to influence millions of people with his writing. However, he struggles with self-sabotage. More precisely, his main struggle is perfectionism. Because of the social impact he is trying to make, every essay he starts writing feels like the most important one of his life. The stakes are way too high. The writing is never finished or good enough.

I can relate to feeling overwhelmed by the importance of what you’re writing about. I probably wouldn’t be alive today if I wasn’t writing. But I also know what it’s like to publish, on average, 2.5 pieces per week on Substack for the last 2 and a half years and post almost every single day on Instagram for the past 5 years.

So, while acknowledging the magnitude of his mission, I asked him a simple question:

Are you supposed to be writing for impact or for momentum right now?

His jaw dropped because he immediately realized what I was talking about. Then he pulled out his notebook, wrote this question down, and thanked me.

I know he will be making a great impact soon enough precisely because he realized that impact shouldn’t be his priority right now.

Don't worry; I'm getting to the point of how this relates to your journey.

Previously, I said the question is “results or momentum.” But in the conversation with my friend, I said, “impact or momentum.” That’s because impact is the result he is aiming for. Think about the desired result you are sabotaging yourself from achieving. Think about where your perfectionistic tendencies are showing up.

You see, my friend is at the beginning stages of his writing journey. No matter how strong his passion is, focusing on impact while writing doesn’t make much sense because he has yet to develop a sustainable writing practice. The only way for him to make the impact he wants is to write consistently for the next couple of decades. So wouldn’t you agree that the focus should be on gaining momentum by writing things that may not be good enough by his standards but are allowing him to "put the reps in"?

Now, how about you? I don’t know if you’re at the beginning stages of your journey. But I know you are at a point of little to no momentum. Where there is self-sabotage and perfectionism, there is no momentum.

Let’s say you are trying to become a stand-up comedian. Should the focus of your craft now be all the joy you can provide to people and all the tickets you can sell? Or should the focus be on building momentum by writing as many jokes and attending as many open mic nights as possible?

Let’s say you are trying to lose X amount of weight, but you have a history of failing to follow your training and diet plan because of an all-or-nothing approach. Should your daily routine focus on eating and training like a professional athlete? Or should the focus be on building momentum by eating a little bit better than yesterday and just showing up to your workout?

I think you get the point.

Friends, here is a nice and not-so-nice way to summarize this.

Nice: It’s not fair to yourself to focus on results right now. You need to allow yourself to show up in a far-from-perfect way and build momentum. Then, this momentum will lead you to results.

Not-so-nice: You haven’t earned the right to focus on results. Prove to yourself that you can show up consistently first.

Thank you for reading.