“The difference between the diminished individual, wistfully yearning toward full humanness but never quite daring to make it, versus the unleashed individual, growing well toward his or her destiny, is simply the difference between fear and courage.” Abraham Maslow
I decided to open the essay with this quote because I want you to spend some time thinking about the concepts of the diminished and the unleashed individual.
Even if you don’t read the rest of this essay, sitting with this quote for a while can be enough to change how you view yourself and the path in front of you.
Diminished individual. Just a fraction of everything that one could’ve been. A sad reminder of an unused potential. The tragic reality of most people’s lives.
Unleashed individual. One’s higher nature set free. All of one’s potential let loose, unrestrained by fear, doubt, and insecurity. Chains of false limitations broken. An image of a human being that inspires us to believe that we could be more than we are right now.
Every human being has in them a drive to be more than they are right now. To actualize at least some of their potential because, no matter how insecure they may be, everyone is aware, at least deep down, that there is some potential in them. A drive to grow and develop. This is one of the rare things that almost all notable psychologists agree on.
Maslow said this is “an active will toward health, an impulse toward growth, or toward the actualization of human potentialities” that is present in all humans. Another important figure in humanistic psychology, Carl Rogers, described it by saying,
“it is the urge which is evident in all organic and human life - to expand, extend, become autonomous, develop, mature - the tendency to express and activate all the capacities of the organism.”
If this is the case, why do so few of us even scratch the surface of actualizing our potentials, let alone become everything that we could possibly be? Why are there so many diminished individuals while the unleashed individual has become something we think exists only in superhero movies?
As we saw in the opening quote, it is simply the difference between fear and courage.
At each point in our lives, we are faced with a choice that leads to progression and one that leads to regression on our path of personal growth and development. Maslow called these the growth choice and the fear choice.
“Every human being has both sets of forces within him. One set clings to safety and defensiveness out of fear, tending to regress backward, hanging on to the past... afraid to take chances, afraid to jeopardize what he already has, afraid of independence, freedom and separateness. The other set of forces impels him forward toward wholeness of Self and uniqueness of Self, toward full functioning of all his capacities, toward confidence in the face of the external world.”
-Abraham Maslow
When you find yourself at this crossroads, if you look deep enough within, you will find that, more often than not, life is asking you not to stay safe. Life is asking you to pick the thing that feels dangerous because that might be what is needed for you to go to your limits, and hopefully beyond them.
The thing about us humans is that, while safety and comfort have their obvious value, and there are times when fear is the appropriate response, we rarely grow under those circumstances. Most often, we grow when we are ready to leave what feels safe and go towards the dangerous and the unknown.
As professor Eric Dodson put it,
"Sometimes life is asking you to dwell at the outer limits of who and what you are... That's where we transform; that's where we are challenged to become something more than ourselves."
Being an unleashed individual means daring to step into the unknown and live toward one's highest possibilities and deepest potentials. Toward - the point is in orientation and active movement, not in reaching the summit or the finish line. You are not expected to become the highest version of yourself tomorrow. Or ever, for that matter. What life is asking you to do is orient yourself toward growth, take those small, consistent steps on your journey, and, when given the opportunity, take those giant leaps as well.
We are all familiar with the fact that courage is not the absence of fear but our willingness to move forward despite the fear. That’s why, if there was no fear and the urge to retreat into safety contrasting the choice we are about to make, it would mean there is no movement toward growth. If it didn’t feel dangerous, it would mean that we are not leaving the familiar and comfortable; we are not venturing into territory where we are challenged to become more than we are right now.
“For believe me! — the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is: to live dangerously! Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius! Send your ships into uncharted seas!" -Friedrich Nietzsche (The Gay Science)
If, after all of this, you get the overall message but are still not sure about how to solve the courage part of this equation in your own journey, I can offer you the same I recently wrote to a friend while discussing courage:
Courage is an attitude that needs to be confirmed by action, not a biologically determined trait. I would say that's a pretty encouraging fact. That is, if you are ready to assume responsibility for your attitude and actions.
Thank you for reading.
P.S. Big announcement: I am releasing an updated version of my free course (Re)Build in 10 days.
If you’ve already been enrolled in (Re)Build, the course will follow the same topics but will be even more action-oriented; you will get a worksheet with actionable steps to take for each lesson.
For those who are not familiar with my free course:
(Re)Build: Become the Architect of Your Own Life is a blueprint for creating a fulfilling and meaningful life molded by insight from psychology's and philosophy's finest minds.
Insights that I’ve used, and am still using, to (re)build my own life and become someone whose thoughts and ideas you are willing to read and listen to.
Wisdom that ranges from Seneca to Nietzsche to Maslow. From the Stoics to the Zen Buddhists to the modern-day neuroscientists.
My mission with this free course is to give you the insights, actionable advice, and tools needed to turn a new page in your story and start building your life for the first time ever, or rebuilding it regardless of the circumstances.
7 days. 7 lessons. 7 worksheets with practical advice. 1 reading and listening recommendation guide to continue your journey. Free.