Courageous Life, Magic of the (Extra)Ordinary, Learning From Struggles
Existential Espresso Vol. 77
What I’ve been (re)reading:
Discovery of Being by Rollo May
This is not my favorite book by one of my most important teachers, Rollo May. The Meaning of Anxiety takes that spot. But I returned to reread Discovery of being for a specific reason.
The number of people who reach out to me saying that they feel stuck in life is overwhelming. And I don't take the privilege and responsibility of people reaching out to me lightly. This prompted me to look at all the resources* that have helped me when I felt stuck and that I still turn to when I feel like I've lost direction or the drive to move in a certain direction.
This self-reflection reminded me of how Rollo May talks about decision and commitment in the existential sense, which had a profound impact on my orientation towards life.
“In human beings courage is necessary to make being and becoming possible. An assertion of the self, a commitment, is essential if the self is to have any reality. This is the distinction between human beings and the rest of nature. The acorn becomes an oak by means of automatic growth; no commitment is necessary. The kitten similarly becomes a cat on the basis of instinct. Nature and being are identical in creatures like them. But a man or woman becomes fully human only by his or her choices and his or her commitment to them. People attain worth and dignity by the multitude of decisions they make from day by day. These decisions require courage.”
This commitment, for May as well as his major influence, Kierkegaard, means a passionate orientation towards existence. It means you are committing to a course of action because you are the only one who can turn any of your potential life paths from potentiality into actuality. Discovery of Being is a good source for you to understand how this is not some abstract concept or woo-woo talk that has no effect in real life. Decision and commitment are the very core of being human.
What I’ve watched:
Hayao Miyazaki | What it means to be an artist
“It’s in everyday ordinary scenery that I find the extraordinary.”
Part of my morning practice consists of reminding myself to always strive to get the most out of my potential and what life has to offer me, as well as to keep encouraging others to do the same.
However, I continue my morning practice by saying,
"In this constant striving, never forget to see the beauty and magic in the mundane."
Well, there are few humans who have inspired me to see the beauty and magic in the mundane as much as Miyazaki. For those who have watched his movies, it is clear that his magical worlds are constructed from the most ordinary parts of the world around us.
This video shares Miyazaki's insights on the artistic process and life, which I believe have been taken from a longer documentary, 10 Years with Hayao Miyazaki. That's the next thing on my watching list.
What I’ve been thinking about:
My biggest heartbreak taught me that I actually don’t know how to love.
Someone wanting to take my life forced me to start living.
Being isolated urged me to lower my guard and allow other humans to enter my life.
This list could go on and on...
At first, these 3 statements may seem like typical “something good will come out of your struggle.” But that's not exactly what I have in mind.
Yes, I am able to look back on those struggles as helping me create something positive in my life. But what I'm focusing on here is that they helped me realize where I was making mistakes.
It was about me realizing that I don’t know how to love, that I am shying away from life, and that I’m unfairly not allowing people to approach me. However, this process requires some humility and abandoning the victim attitude.
I already know how many people will think, “How do you dare suggest I think about where I’m at fault while I’m suffering?” So let me clarify: The mistake you are making doesn’t have to be the reason for the struggle you are experiencing. But your struggle can shed light on your mistakes and self-sabotaging behaviors nonetheless.
Just because your struggle didn't come from your mistake doesn't mean that you are a perfectly innocent victim of life. And just because you've made mistakes doesn't mean that every struggle you experience is your fault. It's a funny thing, this human life, isn't it?
Thank you for reading.
Stay strong, love life, and never feel sorry for yourself.
Free Resources:
My free ebook: The Lost Art of Reading
Paid Resources:
The Art of Showing Up: A Clear and Practical Method for Mastering Consistency
The Gold Pill: Timeless Ideas for a Life Worth Living
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Extraordinary read! =)