Before we dive into todays essay…
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Now, the essay.
Resistance training is one of the best ways to improve self-awareness.
First, what precisely do I mean by self-awareness? It's kind of a vague term that's thrown around in many different contexts.
By self-awareness, I mean your ability to understand your inner processes—that is, have a better insight into what is going on inside you.
And there is one exceptionally important aspect of self-awareness that is developed through resistance training. It's your ability to see through your own deception. Your ability to see through your own bullshit.
We humans are great at deceiving ourselves. We are great at tricking ourselves into taking the path of least resistance. Great at convincing ourselves not to make the effort where it's needed. All because we have a part of ourselves that wants comfort even at the expense of growth.
We have a part of ourselves that, if it had full power over us, we would spend our lives like domesticated animals, only caring to eat, defecate, and sleep. And, unfortunately, it looks like some people have given away all the power to this part of themselves.
The value of resistance training that I want to discuss here is not that of learning to embrace discomfort and do difficult things. I want to talk about something that comes before it.
You will notice that I've been specific in saying "resistance training" and not just physical training like I usually do. Resistance training - performing exercises for a certain number of reps, with resistance being either your bodyweight or external weights.
Where we get to develop our self-awareness in resistance training is the moment that anyone with decent training experience has had many times, and that’s realizing that you lied to yourself.
Some of you will know the feeling when, after a set, you realize that you sold yourself short.
If you haven’t had the chance to experience it, let me explain it.
Let's say that I’m doing a set of pull-ups to failure. I am near my limit. My muscles are burning. Every rep is a struggle. Okay, let's do one more rep and call it a set. I’m done. But as soon as I let my hands off the pull-up bar, there is a moment of profound clarity. I know that I had 2-3 more reps in me, but I wanted to stop. I didn't reach my limit; I just wanted a way out of the burn in my muscles.
As mentioned previously, in this context, I am not only focused on developing toughness, that is, learning to embrace discomfort. I take that moment of clarity as a sign of my self-awareness.
"Okay, good. So this is what it’s like when you recognize you’ve deceived yourself. My mind tricked me into stopping before I was actually done. I gave myself an easy way out."
I was able to see through my own bullshit. Maybe not quickly enough to take that set to failure, but quickly enough to take this as a lesson. I've experienced a higher level of self-awareness.
Here is the best thing: there is not a single person on this Earth that engages in resistance training and doesn't have these moments on an almost regular basis. Not David Goggins, not Jocko Wilinik, or whoever you consider the epitome of toughness.
No matter how tough you are or how highly developed your ability to push yourself is, you will occasionally fall victim to your opposite ability, that is, the ability to give yourself an easy way out and stop before you need to.
And every time this happens, you will recognize it. And every time you recognize it, you will have gained more experience in seeing through your own deception. You will have one more example of how necessary it is not to listen to everything your mind is saying to you. And, most importantly, you will use this knowledge, insight, and experience not just in training and physical challenges but in real life.
For example, you will be able to call yourself out and see through your own bullshit when you are trying to avoid having an important conversation with your partner.
Your mind is telling you that you don’t need to talk to him or her about this particular situation because it’s not that important. But you've stacked up enough of those moments of clarity. You've developed greater self-awareness, and you say to yourself, "Wait, this is just an excuse for my fear. I don’t want to have this conversation because it’s uncomfortable, not because it’s unnecessary."
So you know what to do; you have to initiate that conversation. If you don’t, you cannot backtrack your self-awareness. You will know that you are betraying your responsibility to work on a healthy relationship.
You can have these same moments of clarity in all sorts of physical challenges, but this is one instance where I give advantage to resistance training over endurance training. Yes, you can have that moment of clarity after a challenging run where you were testing your limits. But it’s much more precise and easier to notice when you’ve been doing something for reps. It’s like conducting a self-awareness experiment in the most controlled setting.
I often talk about how my awareness of my internal dialogue is my greatest advantage when it comes to discipline. That's actually the thing that makes me disciplined. It's not me being some super tough person. It's simply that I wouldn't be able to bear constantly being confronted with the fact that I gave myself an easy way out for something difficult or uncomfortable that I knew I needed to do.
Don't get me wrong, we all occasionally succeed in giving ourselves excuses. But when you are really good at being aware of it, you notice that every single day you are trying to give yourself easy ways out. It literally starts with waking up, proceeds with media consumption, then your diet, exercise, working on your passion project, following the healthy habits you’re trying to adopt, your interactions with loved ones and colleagues...
In all of these small or big aspects of your day, you will try to give yourself an easy way out. However, if you are aware of this, it’s not a matter of discipline anymore. Yes, I am motivated by the future I’m trying to create. But it’s also that I just wouldn’t be able to handle looking in the mirror and seeing a person who has been betraying himself the whole day, every day.
Lastly, something to consider: While reading this, a part of you must have taught that it’s not healthy to be so aware of your inner processes and to question all the time if you are giving yourself an excuse and an easy way out. Okay, fair enough. I just ask you to think about what part of yourself was saying that.
Could it be that same part that is telling you how you should stay in bed for one more hour? Could it be the same part of you that is telling you how physical training is for superficial and vain people and you don’t need it? Could it be the same part of you that made you believe that you don't have the time to work on your passion project for 30 minutes per day?
Do you really think that the healthy, strong, courageous part of you that is driven towards growth sees the ability to see through your own excuses as unhealthy?
However, all of what I'm sharing are just insights I gathered while trying to hold myself to a high standard. At the end of the day, you will have to decide how much you want out of yourself.
"For there is no doubt that the most radical division that it is possible to make of humanity is that which splits it into two classes of creatures: those who make great demands on themselves, piling up difficulties and duties; and those who demand nothing special of themselves, but for whom to live is to be every moment what they already are, without imposing on themselves any effort towards perfection..." -José Ortega y Gasset
Thank you for reading.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7bSYG0qL3Y
I think the aspect of knowing how you betray yourself and rob yourself of a brighter future is one that made me succeed in many ways - but I had to learn that for my mental health it is not always great to push myself that way. For many people getting up an hour earlier might be the right thing to do, but I personally have to learn when to slow down and when to give my all. Finding a healthy balance is hard. If you push yourself too hard with your resistance training might result in injury. One has to find the sweet spot where growth happens, really. Thank you for the Essay! :)