How Turning Statements into Questions Can Change Your Life
There is a simple, although not easy, change in language you could make that would undoubtedly make your life better.
How about, instead of using the full stop all the time, you start using the question mark more often?
How about, instead of thinking, "I failed at this because I don’t have the talent for it." you ask, "What actions could I take on a consistent basis to get better at this?"
How about, instead of thinking, "This person is successful; they must be coming from a wealthy and influential family." you ask, "Are there any traits this person embodies that could help me on my own journey?"
How about, instead of thinking, "I received harsh criticism from this person, so they must hate me." you ask, "How did my recent behavior and actions affect this person?"
How about, instead of thinking, "This person is liked by many more people than I am because they are better looking." you ask, "Can I learn something from the way they interact with other people?"
I could go on and on because our daily lives are full of examples where we could (and should) replace definite statements with questions, but I think you get the idea.
And I know this is particularly difficult to do when it comes to other people. It’s as if most people are hardwired to believe that anyone who is ahead of them in any aspect of life didn’t earn their position but received it as a result of privilege. Don’t get me wrong; as someone who grew up in an extremely corrupt society, I am aware that the world is full of people who didn’t earn their success. But there are also more than enough examples of people earning it. Definitely enough for you to drop the attitude of "they had it better than me, so that’s why they are better than me."
But it’s not easy to replace definite statements with questions when it comes to ourselves, either. Asking a question means admitting that there is at least a possibility of you changing something about yourself or fixing a situation that you are in. And, if there is a possibility, you owe it to yourself to give it a try. That’s why asking a question gives you the responsibility to put in some effort. And I think we could agree that responsibility and effort are not really popular with a lot of people.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is so much more we can learn from the situations we find ourselves in, from other people, and from ourselves. The questions we have to ask in order to learn are often uncomfortable. And sometimes there will be nothing truly valuable or useful in the answer. But you don’t know until you ask. The alternative is a life of self-imposed ignorance.
“As long as you live, keep learning how to live.” - Seneca
Thank you for reading.
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