(This is Part 3 of the Memento Mori Meditations Guide. If you haven’t already, read Part 1 here, and/or Part 2 here, before reading this one)
In previous two parts of this guide we talked about different types of death meditation you can do. We talked about how you should start, and how different types of meditation build one on another.
This time, we are talking about when to meditate on death.
I think it will come as no surprise that the two main parts of the day when I do my memento mori meditations are the morning, right after I wake up, and the evening, before I go to sleep.
I know I haven’t missed a single morning in my 1010 days (at the time of writing this).
Regarding the evenings, there might’ve been a couple of nights when I went to bed in a state of consciousness that didn’t allow for any kind of meditation, or contemplation.
And, as I mentioned in part 2, I also meditate throughout the day by using on-the-spot meditation.
Morning Meditation
Before anything else, the purpose of morning Memento Mori meditation is to feel gratitude that you’ve been given another day, another chance – because it wasn’t guaranteed. Remembering that you are going to die also means remembering that you are still alive and being grateful for it.
Then, it is about creating awareness of how precious this day is. This day matters as much as any day has mattered in your life. In fact, this is the most important day of your life. What you do with it matters.
Lastly, it’s about creating urgency. Urgency to live. This is the most important day of your life because it’s the only one that you can live, and also because it might be your last. You don’t have time to put anything off. What are the things that you want to accomplish? What do you want your life to look like? Who do you want to be? You probably cannot achieve any of those things today, but you have to make sure to take some steps, no matter how small, towards them. Live each day as a separate life.
My morning meditations are almost always “dedicated time meditations.” As mentioned in part 2, I started doing them in the traditional style of sitting in silence, but now I do them on my morning walks. However, morning meditation doesn’t have to be a dedicated time meditation every single time. You can do on-the-spot meditation if you woke up late and/or have to get going somewhere right after waking up. Do your Memento Mori meditation while brushing your teeth and putting your clothes on. There is no excuse not to think about, or repeat out loud, the meditations you developed from part 1 and part 2.
Evening Meditation
The evening Memento Mori meditation is about keeping you in check and setting you up for the next day.
Once again, you remind yourself that this could’ve been your last day. Did you live accordingly? Did you spend your time and energy the way you knew you were supposed to spend them? More often than not, you will find that there is something you should’ve spent less time on and something that deserved more of your time, attention, and energy. So if this really was your last day, you kind of "messed up."
If you got another chance, what would you do differently? Think about that and set an intention for the next day, because you might just get that another chance.
If you wake up tomorrow, you better make sure not to make those same mistakes. If you wake up tomorrow, you’ve been given a chance to show that you’ve learned from yesterday. You’ve been given a chance to show your appreciation for the time you’ve been given and to follow the intention you set the night before.
Just like with the morning ones, I prefer my evening meditations to be dedicated time meditations. It can be as simple and as short as sitting in your bed for a couple of minutes and going through these questions and reflections I just talked about. But once again, if, for whatever reason, that’s not something you can do, you can go through your memento mori meditations while brushing your teeth and getting ready for bed. At the very least, you can do it when you go to bed and close your eyes. If you are someone who has a habit on reflecting on their day when they go to bed, or expressing gratitude, or praying, doing a short Memento Mori meditations isn’t much different from any of those things. In fact, it fits perfectly with them.
Meditating throughout the day
I personally don’t have a fixed structure for meditating throughout the day.
After all this time, it's become second nature for me to use on-the-spot Memento Mori meditation multiple times throughout the day.
However, as I mentioned in one of my recent instagram story threads, it wasn’t always like that. And maybe it would be good for you to start with some sort of a structure.
When I just started doing memento mori meditations, I set an alarm clock on my phone to go off every hour of the day, and the alarm notification said "You are going to die. Stop wasting your time. "
I did this because I was just starting out with this unusual practice and I was determined to make this a habit. And it worked.
Whether you decide to also use the alarm, or you come up with a different reminder, or you decide to rely on your awareness and mindfulness, this alarm "trick" is a perfect example of how on-the-spot meditation works.
Whenever I saw that alarm, I would usually spend less than a minute meditating on death. I would read the message on the screen, take literally a couple of seconds to stop whatever I was doing or thinking about, and let the message I just read sink in. You are going to die. Stop wasting your time.
After 15-20 seconds, I was ready to continue my day. If the thing that I was doing, or thinking about, was something that was worth my time, I would continue, but with a greater awareness and fuller presence.
And sometimes, those 15-20 seconds of meditation were enough for me to realize that the thing I was doing or thinking about up to that point was a waste of my time, so I would "reset" and look at what I should actually be spending my time and energy on.
After some time of using the alarm, I noticed I didn’t need it anymore. My own mind started reminding me to meditate on death more often, and at more appropriate times, than my phone did.
The meditation itself remained just like I described, it’s just that now I am the one initiating it.
If you are embarrassed about someone seeing your alarm, I was too. And one day, a couple of my colleagues saw it. It was uncomfortable, and it felt embarrassing, but not as much as I was afraid it would be. If you are someone who is self-conscious about these things, trust me: people actually don't spend that much time thinking about what you are doing, no matter how weird it may seem.
Whether you decide to use the alarm or not, I strongly believe that you already have enough awareness to notice when you are wasting your time, when you are procrastinating, or when you are hesitating. Whenever you notice those things, do on-the-spot meditation. The alarm is more of a tool that helps with laziness and forces you to do those short meditations than it is a tool for creating greater awareness.
To summarize it:
Start the day by reminding yourself that it wasn't guaranteed that you would wake up. There is already something to be grateful for.
Realize that your time here is limited, and what you do with it matters.
Feel the urgency to live. You don't have time to put things off. Live each day as a separate life, and make this day a life worth living.
When the day is over, look back on it. How do you feel about the way you spent your time and energy? Did you make this day a life worth living? What are the things that you would do differently? Be aware that if you wake up tomorrow, you've been given a chance to correct those mistakes. Set an intention for how you are going to use this chance if you get it. Most importantly, if you get it, don’t waste it.
And, throughout the day, make sure to stop and realize that this is it. This is your life, and it's happening right now. Are you living it? Or are you letting it just pass you by?
Challenge:
Part 4 of this guide comes out next Thursday.
Until then, do Memento mori Meditations for at least 1 minute in the morning, 1 minute in the evening, and 2-3 on-the-spot meditations throughout the day, every single day.
If you cannot take 3 minutes out of your day to think about the importance of your life, I guess what you need is 1 hour a day of it.
Thank you for reading.
Click here to read Part 4 of Memento Mori meditations guide.
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