One Question to Ask Yourself Every Day if You Want to Change Your Life
There is one question that I asked myself every single day of my life for 5 years straight, and I attribute a lot of my ability to change the direction of my life to that single question.
"Is your dream really a dream, or is it just something that you are using as an excuse for not being satisfied with your life?"
Let me explain.
Nowadays, almost everyone you talk to has something else that they would like to do, someplace else they would rather be, or a whole different life they would like to live.
And my question is, are you actually working on that thing called your dream, or are you just talking about it? And are you working on it on a daily basis, not just occasionally when you feel like it and are hit with a burst of motivation and enthusiasm?
And, in this case, by "dream," I don't even mean some grand, ultimate life dream. I mean that one thing that you want to change about your life and that you think would make you more satisfied with it.
You could set the bar even higher and say, "Did you make a clear plan for how to achieve your dream?" But I wouldn’t even go that far in the beginning.
All I'm asking myself and you is: even if you don’t have a plan, are you doing anything on a daily basis? Anything other than thinking or talking about how there is something else that you would rather do in life and some place you would rather be?
Now, it is natural that for most people, this question is going to be associated with what they do for a living. And hopefully I can explain why this shouldn’t sound like another preachy and quasi-motivational talk by a "quit your job and do what you love" guru.
The very reason I asked myself this question every day for 5 years, and why I believe others should too, is that I believe not everyone should strive towards quitting their job and pursuing something else.
I believe that online entrepreneur culture has created this unrealistic and unnatural idea that everyone is supposed to have some kind of dream that has to be related to what they do for a living, and that all their focus in life should be put towards being able to quit their job and pursue their so-called dream.
But not everyone’s dream needs to be tied up with their profession. I talked about this at length in my Why You Don't Know What to do With Your Life essay. I highly encourage you to read it if you already haven’t, and especially the section called "The Biggest Misconception."
For those who don’t want or don’t have the time to read it, in it I talk about my ex-colleague, who is one of the most fulfilled people I know, and yet he is doing a job that is not his dream, his passion, or his purpose. His passion, purpose, and mission in life lie outside of his job. And he simply does his job in an honest and responsible way and is able to support his family with it. When did we forget about that kind of life being an option? And a beautiful option, I would say.
So when I say, "Ask yourself if your dream is really a dream or is it just an excuse not to be satisfied with your life," I don’t think that this question should get everyone into action. For some, maybe this question will bring the realization that your life is actually pretty good and there are ways to make it even better and more beautiful without making any drastic changes or trying to escape your life as it is.
And, for some, this question should keep you in check. That’s what it was for me.
From the day I started my job until the day I left, I spent at least 90% of my lunch and coffee breaks doing one of three things that gave me the best return on investment for the journey I was on: reading, writing, and working out.
I’m not saying everyone should do that. I sometimes feel bad for turning down colleagues' invitations to go out for coffee during the break, and doing it every single day. But because of how my life turned out and how I ended up in a situation where I had to change my entire life, every single one of those work breaks where I was the "overly disciplined guy" paid off.
Ask yourself:
What are the things that you know you should be doing that would bring you closer to your dream?
Out of those activities, what are the ones with the lowest barrier to entry? The ones that you can start doing right away, without too much preparation and without having some grand plan in which they fit perfectly? Are you doing those things on a daily basis?
Now, based on that answer, ask yourself again:
Is your dream really a dream, or is it just an excuse not to be satisfied with your life because social media gurus are telling you you shouldn’t be satisfied with it?
Maybe you realize that you are fine not doing those activities and that you are actually satisfied with your life. If that’s the case, I am happy for you, and I urge you to keep reminding yourself of that fact so that you don't fall for this popular idea of having to want something else, something more, all the time.
But if your dream is really a dream and you are aware that you are not doing that bare minimum on a daily basis, then I promise you that your relationship with yourself will get worse and worse, because you will know that you are betraying yourself.
Thank you for reading.
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