The Art of Suffering Well, Personal Responsibility, Power of Relationships
Existential Espresso Vol. 43
What I’ve been reading:
No, Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering by Thich Nhat Hanh
The art of happiness is also the art of suffering well.
Thich Nhat Hanh was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, peace activist, and teacher, but he is best known as the author of numerous popular books on Buddhism and mindfulness.
“Breathing in, I’m aware of the painful feeling in me. Breathing out, I’m aware of the painful feeling in me.” This is an art. We have to learn it, because most of us don’t like to be with our pain. We’re afraid of being overwhelmed by the pain, so we always seek to run away from it. There’s loneliness, fear, anger, and despair in us. Mostly we try to cover it up by consuming. There are those of us who go and look for something to eat. Others turn on the television. In fact, many people do both at the same time. And even if the TV program isn’t interesting at all, we don’t have the courage to turn it off, because if we turn it off, we have to go back to ourselves and encounter the pain inside. The marketplace provides us with many items to help us in our effort to avoid the suffering inside.”
If anyone has read No, Mud, No Lotus, or any other of Thich Nhat Hanh’s books, I would be curious to hear your thoughts. I didn’t find any particularly unusual ideas in it, at least not yet, but I think the way certain ideas are presented would leave a different impression on people from different cultures. And I guess that’s the beauty of our differences.
What I’ve listened to:
Ali Siddiq on "I Don't Know Anything Else" Mentality - clip from the Joe Rogan podcast
I’ve spent most of my life surrounded by people who "didn’t know any better."
"Didn’t know any better" when it came to being faithful in relationships.
"Didn’t know any better" when it came to illegal activities.
"Didn’t know any better" when it came to being a decent human being.
True, most of them had one or multiple unfortunate circumstances negatively affect their lives. But they have used their life circumstances as an excuse for every single mistake they have made.
They "didn’t know any better," so they kept screwing up. But everyone knows something better.
That’s why the topic of personal responsibility has always been close to my heart.
But nowadays, whenever you call for people to take some personal responsibility for their lives, you are called a privileged right-winger.
Anyways… Maybe a member of an underprivileged minority who has spent time in prison can talk about taking some personal responsibility for your choices without being called.
What I’ve been thinking about:
No daily routine, however optimized, no self-improvement, however impressive, can truly fulfill you without sharing your journey with others.
Prioritize creating and maintaining strong and meaningful relationships.
You can be successful in so many different areas of your life but still be miserable because you don’t have genuine and loving relationships.
Your life can be difficult and full of pain and hardship, but still meaningful and even beautiful because you have a couple of people that you truly care about and know they care for you.
Stay strong, love life, and never feel sorry for yourself.
P.S. The enrollment for the Sisyphus Society has officially started, and it lasts until Sunday, 11 p.m. EST.
For those who are not familiar with it, Sisyphus Society is a community I created for those who want to go beyond the talk and theory and actually start putting into practice the lessons I’m sharing through my writing.
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Free Resources:
My free ebook: The Lost Art of Reading
Paid Resources:
The Art of Showing Up: A Clear and Practical Method for Mastering Consistency
The Gold Pill: Timeless Ideas for a Life Worth Living
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