"No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. There may be countless trails and bridges and demigods who would gladly carry you across; but only at the price of pawning and forgoing yourself. There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!"
I made the decision at the beginning of this year to change my attitude to everything. Most pressingly the thing that bugs me the most atm is work. So I decided to approach my work with a better attitude. Not to impress others, not to contribute to the "fake vibe" or some crap. But ultimately to make sure I didn't miss anything about life's harshness. I work in a rough environment and people have a chip on their shoulder most of the time. What can I learn from that?
I also resolved to read. It brought me back to writing which is why I've been absent on here for a while. I have many things to write about !
Well I am even more happy that someone reacts in this way to the mention of Maslow. You found a kindered spirit here, as I’m on a mission to make Maslow (and other existential-humanistic psychologists) cool again.
The idea that anxiety should be the guiding light seems counter-intuitive. Normally you would go towards the things that come easy, the things you do effortlessly, the things you enjoy.
We're all uniquely gifted towards some things and not others. Going in the direction of that which is unknown and strange makes for a tough journey.
Of course, you can argue that growth is outside of your comfort zone - and I agree to that. But I'd rather push my comfort zone in the direction that interests and excites me rather than the direction of my fears.
Then you could say that we have to face our fears and that we become whole only once we do that. Integrate the shadow. In a way this does bring one closer to his or her potential, so there's merit to that idea.
Finally, there's the notion that you look at the world and find that which you consider "a problem". You find a dragon to fight with. And there you have, again, the anxiety and the adventure of its pursuit.
Great, great point. Thank you for meaningful engagement.
Here's the deal: You cannot not face the unknow (and with it, anxiety) if you choose the things you enjoy / are gifted for.
The only way to avoid the difficult journey is not to choose based on passion, enjoyment, or things you (feel like) you do effortlessly - but to choose based on seeking comfort and avoidance of challenges.
So maybe anxiety isn't always the starting point of the journey, but its absence in the journey is a sign of choosing wrongly.
Loved the article. I'm a bad substackian and don't read enough on this platform. But the last times I've posted have been about exactly these topics "creating yourself" and "pushing past your comfort zone," so this article was a great find. Although we put it in different ways, it is the same idea. I just love these like "lessons" or "life trues" that somehow we all end up learning one way or another, and despite sounding cliché, they are truly transformational lessons. Thanks for writing and sharing!
One of the most interesting posts I've read all week. Highly subjective feedback (obviously), which may also tell you as much about me as I learned about you. Thank you!
Insightful view on anxiety. I wrote a series of posts titled The Algorithm is Untruth covering this same topic. I focused on Kierkegaard’s The Crowd is Untruth. Your collection of quotes from varying texts is very helpful for putting the scope of this concept into context. If you’re interested in discussing the process of self actualization in the digital age further my messages are open on here, feel free to reach out!
Yes. Speaking from experience. It is a rather terrible realisation. Participate or lie in the filthy of your own thought. Could be a great throught. But, practice makes it practical and useful. Makes the world a little more bearable. And perhaps even beautiful.
And yet to create yourself you have to let all the parts that aren't you, dissolve. This is the part we struggle with because it's the 'belly of the whale' part. We want to get on with the create bit but we haven't allowed the dissolution of the old. And yet it's from the dissolution that our true self emerges from, we don't 'create it' , we remember it. We remember who we are.
I was thinking about sharing a note earlier that said something like, “I am now in the functioning depressive phase of menopause. Similar to a functioning alcoholic, I maintain personal and professional responsibilities, but all while feeling pretty uninspired and joyless.”
This piece is a good read about how Jung and others make a case for coming into our own. It is a privilege and a moral obligation to individuate; give our unique gifts to the world and realize our potential as much as possible. ***I just wish Jung had been a woman.*** Maybe then we would have a more rounded exploration of how deeply exhausting it is to navigate individuation during midlife, a time where half the population is undergoing fundamental hormonal shifts.
Amazing article that seamlessly introduces and piques interest in great thinkers for those not so familiar with formal philosophy (like me). Gabor Maté’s work on how anxiety harms the body came to mind (though I’m aware of its oversimplifications). It’s interesting how his and his contemporaries’ ideas on stress and trauma really connect with the point in the article about how failing to self-actualize can create anxiety. If unfulfilled potential creates inner tension, that anxiety could/and often does manifest in serious physical consequences. Dare I say that, in a way, the human form is meant for mental self-actualisation?
It also made me think in a new way about how drastically trauma can derail one’s path by filling them with anxiety.
This reminded me of a quote from Nietzche
"No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. There may be countless trails and bridges and demigods who would gladly carry you across; but only at the price of pawning and forgoing yourself. There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!"
I made the decision at the beginning of this year to change my attitude to everything. Most pressingly the thing that bugs me the most atm is work. So I decided to approach my work with a better attitude. Not to impress others, not to contribute to the "fake vibe" or some crap. But ultimately to make sure I didn't miss anything about life's harshness. I work in a rough environment and people have a chip on their shoulder most of the time. What can I learn from that?
I also resolved to read. It brought me back to writing which is why I've been absent on here for a while. I have many things to write about !
Thank you for this post!
Update:
I still seem to get likes for this post.
Anyway I have a new role coming up soon
Sent a few dollars your way, thanks for your effort here. Looking forward to seeing the book list
Thank you, I highly appreciate it!
I am DESPERATELY happy that you mentioned Maslow
Well I am even more happy that someone reacts in this way to the mention of Maslow. You found a kindered spirit here, as I’m on a mission to make Maslow (and other existential-humanistic psychologists) cool again.
Let’s do it together!! I’m writing a piece on peak experience and I think you’d enjoy the research behind it
Looking forward!
I found this rather controversial, to be honest.
The idea that anxiety should be the guiding light seems counter-intuitive. Normally you would go towards the things that come easy, the things you do effortlessly, the things you enjoy.
We're all uniquely gifted towards some things and not others. Going in the direction of that which is unknown and strange makes for a tough journey.
Of course, you can argue that growth is outside of your comfort zone - and I agree to that. But I'd rather push my comfort zone in the direction that interests and excites me rather than the direction of my fears.
Then you could say that we have to face our fears and that we become whole only once we do that. Integrate the shadow. In a way this does bring one closer to his or her potential, so there's merit to that idea.
Finally, there's the notion that you look at the world and find that which you consider "a problem". You find a dragon to fight with. And there you have, again, the anxiety and the adventure of its pursuit.
Good read and thought provoking. Thank you!
Great, great point. Thank you for meaningful engagement.
Here's the deal: You cannot not face the unknow (and with it, anxiety) if you choose the things you enjoy / are gifted for.
The only way to avoid the difficult journey is not to choose based on passion, enjoyment, or things you (feel like) you do effortlessly - but to choose based on seeking comfort and avoidance of challenges.
So maybe anxiety isn't always the starting point of the journey, but its absence in the journey is a sign of choosing wrongly.
“Action absorbs anxiety”
—me
Loved the article. I'm a bad substackian and don't read enough on this platform. But the last times I've posted have been about exactly these topics "creating yourself" and "pushing past your comfort zone," so this article was a great find. Although we put it in different ways, it is the same idea. I just love these like "lessons" or "life trues" that somehow we all end up learning one way or another, and despite sounding cliché, they are truly transformational lessons. Thanks for writing and sharing!
This is truly a wonderful article. Thank you for writing this and really appreciate it!!
One of the most interesting posts I've read all week. Highly subjective feedback (obviously), which may also tell you as much about me as I learned about you. Thank you!
Insightful view on anxiety. I wrote a series of posts titled The Algorithm is Untruth covering this same topic. I focused on Kierkegaard’s The Crowd is Untruth. Your collection of quotes from varying texts is very helpful for putting the scope of this concept into context. If you’re interested in discussing the process of self actualization in the digital age further my messages are open on here, feel free to reach out!
You are a good writer :) A very well written post indeed...It kinda hit home. I am somewhat in the same place as you elaborated in the post...
This gave me anxiety. Err thanks
Yes. Speaking from experience. It is a rather terrible realisation. Participate or lie in the filthy of your own thought. Could be a great throught. But, practice makes it practical and useful. Makes the world a little more bearable. And perhaps even beautiful.
And yet to create yourself you have to let all the parts that aren't you, dissolve. This is the part we struggle with because it's the 'belly of the whale' part. We want to get on with the create bit but we haven't allowed the dissolution of the old. And yet it's from the dissolution that our true self emerges from, we don't 'create it' , we remember it. We remember who we are.
I was thinking about sharing a note earlier that said something like, “I am now in the functioning depressive phase of menopause. Similar to a functioning alcoholic, I maintain personal and professional responsibilities, but all while feeling pretty uninspired and joyless.”
This piece is a good read about how Jung and others make a case for coming into our own. It is a privilege and a moral obligation to individuate; give our unique gifts to the world and realize our potential as much as possible. ***I just wish Jung had been a woman.*** Maybe then we would have a more rounded exploration of how deeply exhausting it is to navigate individuation during midlife, a time where half the population is undergoing fundamental hormonal shifts.
#restacked
I’ll be re-reading this one a few times. Might even stick that Rollo May quote above my desk as a reminder!
Amazing article that seamlessly introduces and piques interest in great thinkers for those not so familiar with formal philosophy (like me). Gabor Maté’s work on how anxiety harms the body came to mind (though I’m aware of its oversimplifications). It’s interesting how his and his contemporaries’ ideas on stress and trauma really connect with the point in the article about how failing to self-actualize can create anxiety. If unfulfilled potential creates inner tension, that anxiety could/and often does manifest in serious physical consequences. Dare I say that, in a way, the human form is meant for mental self-actualisation?
It also made me think in a new way about how drastically trauma can derail one’s path by filling them with anxiety.