“The archetype of the Buddhist master is pervasive in the therapy profession, as various gurus with MAs and PhDs advertise themselves as harbingers of this general idea of wellness. Certain aspects of clinics are made to suggest calmness and tranquillity. Tranquillity is seen as an ideal endpoint, and those who cannot achieve this Western Buddhist model of tranquillity may be labelled as malcontents of some degree or another. Bringing real-world situations and dialectics into the room with a client is antithetical to the client facing down his or her feelings with a calming shaman in the therapy room, causing the client to be overcome with validation. There is always the danger de-escalation will replace active engagement with reality in a similar manner to the marijuana and video games model of self-care”
This is one of the most honest takes on therapy culture I’ve seen in a while.
The meme might look like a joke at first—but it cuts deep because it’s true. Thinking your therapist truly cares about you in a broken system is kind of like thinking the stripper’s in love. Harsh? Maybe. But not wrong.
You nailed it: the issue isn’t with individual therapists. It’s the system they work in. A system that treats healing like a transaction. Clock in, nod, scribble notes, clock out. That’s not real care—that’s customer service.
And when real connection gets reduced to a billable hour, something gets lost. We start settling for surface-level support, thinking that’s the best we can get.
Bringing up Maslow, Rogers, and May was perfect. They believed growth came from real, human connection—not checklists and diagnoses. That vision feels almost forgotten now.
What you’re offering is something different. Not therapy, not coaching—just real conversation. Honest, intentional, and human. And that matters more than ever.
Thanks for putting this out there. It’s not just a critique—it’s a wake-up call.
Spot on. I’m a coach whose primary niche are those who are on the higher functioning end of the spectrum but my style is as you’ve described above - invested - but there to transcend and transform. My writing reflects it. I think there’s too much bad therapy out there that isn’t geared towards growth but rather just a steady paycheck for the therapist. My goal is to put myself out of a job because the person is self sustaining from the tools they’ve learned so they can go out there and live their life to the fullest in their terms.
I think the offer you are general making is what is ideally offered by friends, by mentors, and in the old worlds ... and perhaps a world which yet exists in some places ... and could exist in more ... by Pastors/Priests of geographic parishes
This is beautiful. I have a lot of thoughts but no time to share them, but I still wanted to take the time to thank you for your insight. Good luck with your endeavors!
Great article! As a Therapist and someone who goes to therapy,the reality is accurate! I have found my own Therapists to be more distant and have felt that lack of connection as the client.
As a Therapist, I can say that what this article describes is what I Try to provide. I try to make sessions very relaxed and feel like a casual conversation. I often feel that my style is unprofessional because I will frequently self disclose my own experiences as examples for a lesson. But it feels much more authentic, my clients tend to respond very well, and they say that they prefer it! I hope to one day teach/ share with other Therapists this style so that clients can have a better experience!
Thank you 🙏 I love this. I think if you’re going to take on being a “fixer” or “healer” there needs to be a fundamental understanding of genuine energy exchange. Temporal “feel goods” and “validations” and “mind shifts” are nice and can lead to insights but at the end the “teacher” still has to implement that the “individual” must go within and must process on their own and bring back their reflections. It’s an exhaustive process - which requires an empathetic energy exchange and trust in the relationship. We can’t treat each other like “means to an end”. Not everything can be production and value. We aren’t products and there isn’t a one size fits all approach that will work. That’s just simplifying the workload and dumbing it down for mass consumer use and function. Go back to the old way of seeking and finding the “shaman” (teacher) and dedicate your time to that healing and growth. Build that trust and relationship with a guide and do the inner work. To cultivate a better future we have to do the individual work and cultivate ourselves. “Know thyself” it’s ancient but it holds true. Mental eugenics is not working. It’s putting like-minded symptoms in a box and telling them how to cope with themselves and how to train others to deal with their symptoms. That’s not healing. Thats an addiction cycle to an open wound and each time you apply medicine and feeling like you’re working towards healing but the infection keeps coming back. So you just learn how to cope with it and tell others how to cope with you.
“The archetype of the Buddhist master is pervasive in the therapy profession, as various gurus with MAs and PhDs advertise themselves as harbingers of this general idea of wellness. Certain aspects of clinics are made to suggest calmness and tranquillity. Tranquillity is seen as an ideal endpoint, and those who cannot achieve this Western Buddhist model of tranquillity may be labelled as malcontents of some degree or another. Bringing real-world situations and dialectics into the room with a client is antithetical to the client facing down his or her feelings with a calming shaman in the therapy room, causing the client to be overcome with validation. There is always the danger de-escalation will replace active engagement with reality in a similar manner to the marijuana and video games model of self-care”
Elliot Rosenstock, Zizek in the clinic
This is one of the most honest takes on therapy culture I’ve seen in a while.
The meme might look like a joke at first—but it cuts deep because it’s true. Thinking your therapist truly cares about you in a broken system is kind of like thinking the stripper’s in love. Harsh? Maybe. But not wrong.
You nailed it: the issue isn’t with individual therapists. It’s the system they work in. A system that treats healing like a transaction. Clock in, nod, scribble notes, clock out. That’s not real care—that’s customer service.
And when real connection gets reduced to a billable hour, something gets lost. We start settling for surface-level support, thinking that’s the best we can get.
Bringing up Maslow, Rogers, and May was perfect. They believed growth came from real, human connection—not checklists and diagnoses. That vision feels almost forgotten now.
What you’re offering is something different. Not therapy, not coaching—just real conversation. Honest, intentional, and human. And that matters more than ever.
Thanks for putting this out there. It’s not just a critique—it’s a wake-up call.
Spot on. I’m a coach whose primary niche are those who are on the higher functioning end of the spectrum but my style is as you’ve described above - invested - but there to transcend and transform. My writing reflects it. I think there’s too much bad therapy out there that isn’t geared towards growth but rather just a steady paycheck for the therapist. My goal is to put myself out of a job because the person is self sustaining from the tools they’ve learned so they can go out there and live their life to the fullest in their terms.
I think the offer you are general making is what is ideally offered by friends, by mentors, and in the old worlds ... and perhaps a world which yet exists in some places ... and could exist in more ... by Pastors/Priests of geographic parishes
This is beautiful. I have a lot of thoughts but no time to share them, but I still wanted to take the time to thank you for your insight. Good luck with your endeavors!
I wrote about something similar here too
https://open.substack.com/pub/puttenhamsbroker/p/beauty?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1pbyia
Door # 3 please. Moving beyond the expert for profit, patient binary.
Great article! As a Therapist and someone who goes to therapy,the reality is accurate! I have found my own Therapists to be more distant and have felt that lack of connection as the client.
As a Therapist, I can say that what this article describes is what I Try to provide. I try to make sessions very relaxed and feel like a casual conversation. I often feel that my style is unprofessional because I will frequently self disclose my own experiences as examples for a lesson. But it feels much more authentic, my clients tend to respond very well, and they say that they prefer it! I hope to one day teach/ share with other Therapists this style so that clients can have a better experience!
Thank you 🙏 I love this. I think if you’re going to take on being a “fixer” or “healer” there needs to be a fundamental understanding of genuine energy exchange. Temporal “feel goods” and “validations” and “mind shifts” are nice and can lead to insights but at the end the “teacher” still has to implement that the “individual” must go within and must process on their own and bring back their reflections. It’s an exhaustive process - which requires an empathetic energy exchange and trust in the relationship. We can’t treat each other like “means to an end”. Not everything can be production and value. We aren’t products and there isn’t a one size fits all approach that will work. That’s just simplifying the workload and dumbing it down for mass consumer use and function. Go back to the old way of seeking and finding the “shaman” (teacher) and dedicate your time to that healing and growth. Build that trust and relationship with a guide and do the inner work. To cultivate a better future we have to do the individual work and cultivate ourselves. “Know thyself” it’s ancient but it holds true. Mental eugenics is not working. It’s putting like-minded symptoms in a box and telling them how to cope with themselves and how to train others to deal with their symptoms. That’s not healing. Thats an addiction cycle to an open wound and each time you apply medicine and feeling like you’re working towards healing but the infection keeps coming back. So you just learn how to cope with it and tell others how to cope with you.